How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking 🎤

Public speaking is the #1 fear people have, ranking above spiders, heights… and even death.

A fear of public speaking is actually a fear of judgement and rejection. Humans are social creatures whose survival has depended on being accepted by the group. So on some deep, primal level, public speaking feels like a test.

But here's the thing: I used to be pretty rusty at it. In high school, I totally butchered my speech when running for student council. I stood up in front of my class and stumbled over the word "pivotal" five times in a row because I was so nervous.

Fast forward to now: I've given a keynote in Dubai, spoke at the White House, and presented in front of hundreds at YouTube events. Public speaking is a fear you can overcome and a skill you can train.

Here's how.

How to Get Over Your Fear

Three psychological forces feed into our fear: The Spotlight Effect, Imposter Syndrome, and Fight-or-Flight.

The Spotlight Effect is when we overestimate how much others pay attention to us. We feel like people notice every tremble in our voice, every word we stumble over. But the truth is, people are far too occupied with themselves to notice these details.

There's a famous study where students wore obnoxious Barry Manilow t-shirts into a room. They guessed that about half noticed their shirt. In reality? Only about a quarter did.

And here's the kicker: mistakes can actually work in your favor. The Pratfall Effect states that a small mistake can make you seem more likeable. Stumbling over a word means you're human.

Imposter Syndrome is when you feel like you're not qualified to be speaking, even when you are capable. An easy way to get over this is by doing something I call "Assume the Persona." As you get ready to go on stage, imagine you're the world's greatest speaker about your subject matter. Keep your head up, relax your body, walk out there with confidence. If you stand confident, you feel confident.

Fight-or-Flight is your body's automatic survival response. This activates in those few minutes before you speak. Your heart beats faster, your palms get sweaty, maybe your knees go weak and your arms get heavy.

But the second you get up there and finally open your mouth, the nerves will disappear. I've noticed this time after time.

Prepare Like Your Life Depends On It

You prepare for a speech like you prepare for anything else: with an insane amount of practice.

When I gave that speech in front of YouTube, I practiced for three days straight. I recited that speech dozens of times. My neighbors can probably recite it by heart.

Here's how to practice effectively:

1. Print out your speech. You want to be able to hold something and move around as you practice.

2. Divide it into chunks. Each chunk should represent a distinct part, theme, or idea.

3. Highlight 1-3 key sentences in each chunk. These are your anchors. While you're talking on stage, keep these in mind and your brain will fill in the rest.

4. Practice chunk-by-chunk. Read a chunk out loud, put the paper down, then deliver that chunk to the best of your ability. If you forget something, keep going. Improvise or skip over it entirely.

5. Record yourself. Watch it back and identify your filler words and phrases. We all know to avoid "um" and "uh," but also watch for phrases like "you know," "at the end of the day," or "what I mean is."

6. Simplify your slides. Keep them minimal: 3-4 bullets at max. It's even better if your slides don't have bullets at all, but rather images, graphs, or headlines.

Delivery Tips That Actually Work

Speak slower than you normally do. I promise you that because of that slight adrenaline spike, you're speaking faster than you think. Force yourself to slow down.

Get comfortable with pauses. After you've delivered a key insight, let it simmer. Pauses also give you room to recover if you lose your train of thought. Instead of filling the silence with "umm," just stop for a moment.

Make eye contact. Use the triangle method: briefly make eye contact with someone on the left side of the room, then the back middle, then the right side. Mix it up and keep it natural.

Lean on personal anecdotes. Stories stick better than facts and allow you to build a connection with your audience. Your role as a speaker isn't to regurgitate information—that's what Wikipedia is for. Your goal is to engage people, expand their worldview, and make them feel something.

Public speaking is a skill you can train. The more you do it, the better you get. So put yourself out there, practice like crazy, and remember: the nerves disappear the second you open your mouth.

What’s your best tip for public speaking? DM me on Instagram (@goharsguide) to let me!

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I’ll see you next week!

Best,
Gohar