Will You Let Your Kids Use Social Media? 📱

Weird question, right?

That’s how I felt when a friend asked me over lunch the other day.

Now look, y’all can call me “unc” all you want, but I’m nowhere near having kids. However, at some point in the next decade, I’ll have to stare at Gohar Jr. in the eyes and decide whether or not I hand over a smartphone.

Will we have AGI by then?

Will all our feeds be endless streams of AI slop?

Will Gohar Jr. actually be my kid’s name?

Although I can wholeheartedly tell you that the answer to that last question is “no,” I’m not too sure about the other two. As such, I would not let my kids use social media until they’re old enough. Somewhere between 13 and 15 feels right.

But what’s wrong with social media in the first place?

The Algorithm

Social media has endless benefits. I would even argue that its benefits outweigh its drawbacks the older you get. It offers not only a way to connect with friends and family, but an instant portal to information and culture—a bridge between global communities.

But that bridge only exists if you curate your algorithm the “right way.”

At its most fundamental level, a short-form algorithm reinforces your viewing behaviors. If you watch a bunch of basketball highlights, you’ll see more basketball highlights. If you watch a bunch of fashion content, you’ll get more fashion content. (That’s been me lately.)

Now a young adult can make the wise decision to scroll past a piece of brain rot, understanding the detrimental effects it can have on attention span and focus.

But a 13-year-old kid? You’re telling me they have the mental fortitude to scroll past a video of Tung Tung Sahur?

If you’re 13 and reading this, I apologize. You’re clearly an exception.

But the vast majority of kids will be kids. And that’s fine. However, I wouldn’t want to enable behaviors that can have an adverse impact on my kid’s cognitive abilities.

The Importance of Being Bored

But outside of the mental reasons, I also think it’s important for young people to be bored.

Now hear me out.

Boredom breeds curiosity. It compels people to sit in the present moment—to look around and observe.

I was eight year old when the iPhone came out. I was 11 when I got my first smartphone. And I was 18 when I watched a short-form video for the first time.

For the vast majority of time that I’ve had a phone, it’s served as a tool rather than an instant dopamine box, forcing me to explore my weird curiosities growing up: origami, coin collecting, web development, and of course, making videos.

I say this not to pat myself on the back, but to highlight the type of environment I want to build for my kids. I want to make sure they grow up with the same insatiable curiosity I had. Your hobbies and interests as a kid can determine the trajectory of your life.

The Social Stigma of Being Offline

But I don’t wanna play dumb here. I know how it feels to be a teenager without social media.

On the one hand, I’m sure you and I see the endless benefits. But on the other, I don’t want to ignore the social stigma that comes with being offline.

I remember begging my parents for a Facebook account when I was 13 because all of my friends had one. They finally budged after a few months of nonstop pestering, but boy do I remember the isolation I felt during that period.

Each day over lunch, my friends would talk about their favorite Facebook games or a new photo that someone had posted—of course I couldn’t relate. (And I’m sure you can’t either because who in the world still uses Facebook, lol.)

But I don’t want my kid to feel like that. I don’t want my fears to make them feel left out or ostracized.

So that introduces the ultimate challenge: how do you introduce a young person to social media in a healthy way? How do you prevent the algorithm from taking control of their lives?

Although I don’t have all the answers, I have a hunch: make the real world so fun that my kid has no option but to put the phone down. Help them fall in love with science, art, math, and sports so that the algorithm—despite its unrelenting pursuit for attention—pales in comparison to the beauty of the real world.

And perhaps, in that world, I’d let them sneak in a couple scrolls (as long as they follow Gohar).

This was my first newsletter in a while! What did you think about this one? Should I keep sending these? Send me your thoughts over on Instagram (@goharsguide). I’d also love to hear your answer to the question.

In the meantime, come join my Discord for study help! We have a global community of students helping each other succeed in school.

And if you need help preparing for the May SAT, join my bootcamp! Sessions start in less than 48 hours.

I’ll see you next week!

Best,
Gohar